ISO: Writing inspiration. Let’s start with some oldies but goodies. Online dating stories.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about writing more. Not necessarily for an audience but really just to get the millions of words out of my head that otherwise clog up my day. Over the years, through blogs of various forms and levels of detail, I’ve most definitely learned what not to say publicly. So, I won’t go there. But I do remember the joy and personal satisfaction that comes with writing in any form (and the writing I do at work every day just doesn’t suffice). For inspiration, I checked out some of my old blogs, forever alive on the interwebs but now private. Wow. I’m pretty funny. Ha. Especially with the mis-adventures of online dating posts.

So, for you my friends, I will share. Here’s an oldie (circa 2008) but goodie, with more to follow… enjoy it you lil love birds out there! xoxo

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online dating tutorial: what not to say in an email to a potential connection… aka, don’t ever say this shit unless you want to end up here

Your main picture is funny…till u open it up it up it is all pixelated and expanded so you look like you were snapped from a fun house mirror perspective. even when this is followed by then you open it up and dios mio, what a beautiful woman you truly are“… it’s just not right. you lost me when you said it looks like my pic was snapped from a fun house mirror.

when referring to where i currently live, even if you *did* live here once before, what good does it do to add My god this is the most boring place on the planet“? i mean, really? what if i like it here? i do, by the way.

when i say that you “must love sushi and steak” don’t respond with “Can I like tempura instead and merely tolerate sushi.” you can, sure, but not with me. tempura is not sushi for one. and you’re already pointing out differences, so why should i even bother at this point?

Well I just finished reading your profile, I only had to take a couple of breaks.” ok, so my profile is a bit long. at least you know what you’re getting. but, really, do you need to tell me that it’s long? clearly something sparked your interest enough to write me. now only if you were taller than 5’6″ (not that there’s anything wrong with 5’6″ guys; they’re just not for me and my five inch heels).

on that theme, also probably a good idea to avoid “You almost lost me at the eighth or ninth paragraph.” my profile is seven paragraphs. any why are you starting off our would-be relationship (friend or otherwise) by complaining? fail.

wow!.if you dont mind what life experiences made you this way?” i can’t even go there.

guys, it’s really not all that complicated. keep it simple and don’t be an ass. is that really too much to ask? and, to the guys who actually get it right: keep getting it right. as you can see, your competition is pretty weak. for now, i’m going to take a break from the virtual dating world which means i need to find new blog fodder. ideas?

 

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